I read an article today that is just too good not to share with all who will "listen".

Take a minute and read 16 Things You Should Never Say To A Woman Who Is Childless But Not By Choice over at HuffPost Women.

Don't Ignore... the part you play

If you have someone in your life who is battling infertility, rather it's a best friend, cousin, daughter, or just a coworker, you owe it to them to be aware of the role you can play in their life.

You can ask us something nosy and out of place, and send us into a downward spiral.
You can tell us your unwanted "advice" that belittles the very real pain we feel.
You can ignore or avoid us, and make us feel even more alone

OR

You can say "I'm so sorry."
You can hug us.
You can just listen. (I know... you forgot that was possible right? Lol.)
You can hand us a tissue.
You can tell us you are there to listen, if we want to share.
You can pray for us, and tell us you are doing so... because that's the best thing anyone can give us.
You can do a little research, just to better understand what we are going through and how it affects us.
You can support our decisions, rather that decision is to seek medical treatment, artificial insemination, IVF, adoption or to just accept things for the way they are.

What will you choose to do?


For more information on infertility and how to support those struggling, please visit RESOLVE's website.

Don't ignore family building alternatives

As a part of National Infertility Awareness Week, I want to take a moment to recognize a very important family building option: Adoption.

Please take a moment to visit this page and learn about the Adoption Tax Credit bill and help by signing the petition.

Adoption Tax Credit

Sign it for those who battle infertility and choose to adopt to build their family.
Sign it for those who willingly choose to adopt as their first choice for starting/building a family.
Most importantly, sign it for those little boys and girls desperately needing a loving home. Because this tax credit makes it more possible for those struggling financially, to adopt.

Don't ignore the pain

During NIAW, bloggers around the nation are uniting to bring awareness to this hidden and misunderstood disease.

One of the biggest things we long for when battling infertility, is for those around us to recognize our pain.

Don't belittle our pain. ("Well at least you are still young.")
Don't ignore our pain.
Don't try to sugarcoat our pain. ("Well at least you get to sleep in on Saturdays.")

I go home every night and make dinner for my husband, then think during our down time about how much I would love to have a little one to be playing with, bathing, dressing for bed, singing to, rocking... the list goes on.

I no longer even enjoy sleeping in. Every Saturday when I sleep late, I wake up and look at the clock, then immediately feel that common bang of sadness hit as I think about how most people my age have been up for a couple of hours by now chasing their kids around.

The ugly truth is, infertility hurts in a million ways and can sneak up on us from out of nowhere. One minute I am laughing as I watch America's Funniest Home Videos, the next I am crying because of the adorable pampers commercial that just went off. One week I am hopeful because a new month has arrived, a new shot at this. 2 weeks later an even greater hope comes along. Then, another 2 weeks go by and a negative pregnancy test marks yet another month passing without our dream coming true.

It's hard. It's an emotional roller coaster. And above all, it's lonely. It's lonely because people either a) don't know what to say, so they chose to avoid us and say nothing. Or b) they were great supporters to us for a while and have gotten tired of trying to be there for us month after month. There's also the fact that all of the people we really love spending time with, have their own kids, which on most days it just hurts too much to be around.

So please, stop ignoring our pain.

Just be a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on.

National Infertility Awareness Week

April 22-28 is the one week our nation recognizes Infertility. National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW) is our chance to make this disease better recognized and understood.

This year's theme is Don't Ignore Infertility. And that theme really sums up the purpose for the Walk for Hope that Clint and I will be walking in come June.

Last year during NIAW, I took a big step and made my infertility public knowledge. Until then, only a handful of treasured and highly trusted friends knew the struggle we were experiencing. I was tired of the secrecy, the vagueness, and faking our happiness on really dark days. It's hard to understand why infertility is hard to share/talk about, until you are experiencing it. Even being on this walk of infertility, it's still difficult to explain the secrecy that feels necessary. So "coming out" and telling your world that you are fighting infertility takes a lot of bravery for most of us.

The first year I learned about NIAW, I honestly thought to myself that it would be the only year I would go through that week as someone struggling with the disease. When NIAW came again for me last year, it was a very difficult time of reflection and realizing that another year had passed without our desperately longed for baby. So I decided to toughen up and share our struggle with friends and family. And I am so glad that I did.

While it did not gain us as much support as we had hoped, it did gain a few really awesome supporters. I had hoped it would make others more aware of the things they say, to us and in general. I can't say that this happened though. The problem is how little the general population know about infertility, let alone how little they understand it. This is why NIAW is so very important to those of us who are battling infertility and those who did battle it but overcame it. If people would take the time to learn just a little about infertility and how it emotionally can affect people, they could avoid causing a great deal of unintended pain. I made a post about Infertility Etiquette a few weeks ago, of an article posted by RESOLVE that truly gets to the heart of how peoples careless statements and questions cut us so deeply. And I will say it again: I wish I could make all of our family and friends read it and really truly reflect on it. I actually wish everyone would read it, so the world might be just a bit more respectful of the sensitivity that infertility brings.

My goal during this years NIAW, is to post multiple blog posts on Infertility and the importance of not ignoring it. The more we share about this, the more people we will reach.

So here's to hoping that this week will make millions more aware of infertility.

One step forward

We registered for the "A Family of my Own" Fertility & Adoption Conference in D.C. next month.

So I go to D.C. this coming weekend for a work conference, then back 2 weekends later for the Fertility/Adoption Conference, and one last trip in June for the Walk for Hope.

I am super excited, despite my despise of D.C. I am hoping the 2 conferences are great learning experiences and that the walk makes us feel far less alone in this battle.

You are...

Feeling down? Depressed? Hopeless?

Having one of those days when you feel like you fail at everything you attempt?


This song is the great reminder we all need on our down days. It really makes me stop and think in a new perspective.




He made EVERYTHING glorious... and He made you... so, just what does that make you?

GLORIOUS!

(Because we are forgiven.)