Reflections from “the other side”
For five years I longed for the title that this weekend is all about. The pain those years brought is not easily forgotten. And my heart now aches for those still waiting. For those who will struggle through this weekend just as I did last year. And I want them to know they are not alone.
Ellie Grace. She makes all the pain those years brought worth while. This year, I get to wake up and kiss my baby girl. I get to hear the words “mama” as she smiles at me. And that… that is what it is about.
Yet, there is another cloud over this precious weekend.
“A child born to another woman calls me mommy. The magnitude of that tragedy and the depth of that privelege are not lost on me.”
On Sunday, as I wake on this amazing first mothers day on the other side, I will rejoice in this promise that God kept. I will celebrate the journey that led us to one another… my Ellie and I. But I will also shed tears for her other mother. The one who created her. Who gave birth to her. And who so selfessly and bravely made a choice to give two girls the best lives she could.
She knew to raise this baby themselves would take away from the little they already had to offer to Ellie’s sweet sister. So instead she chose to give them both the best she could at the time. And then… she chose me to bless with this amazing gift.
Last Mother’s Day was hard. But little did we know we would so soon hear that magic line… that we had been chosen by a birth mother! And little did we know that in less than a month we would meet those amazing people. And that in just a few short months, we would be holding our daughter in our arms.
So when I look into Ellie’s eyes and thank God for the wonderful title as her mom, I also will ache for the loss I know someone else feels for that very same reason.
And my prayers will no longer be for myself on this day. But instead will be for her brave birth mother, all the other birth mothers out there, and for all those longing and waiting to be able to celebrate mothers day.
I may be on the other side, but I have not forgotten where I came from.